Re:What not to say to a depressed person
by wisty on Sunday August 21, 2011 @08:56AM
(#2909099)
Disclaimer - I am not an expert.
The title might as well be "What not to say to someone being burnt alive at the stake".
Reality - 90% of the time, there's nothing you can say that will make a depressive magically get better. You can offer support ("I love you", "You're a great friend") or suggest they get help. You shouldn't say very destructive things (suicide jokes are a no-no). But most of the things you say will not, in themselves, make much of a difference. Worrying about whether you are saying the right thing is a waste of energy. It's better to address the real problem, which is quite often their lack of activity (which magnifies their underlying worries).
You can't help a depressive, simply by talking at them. It does help a bit to have a friendly chat. It helps to invite them out for a meal, or some exercise, or whatever else.
But the idea that someone else's depression is something you can control purely by talking at (not to) them is mostly rubbish. Perhaps sometimes they do need a shoulder to cry on. Just make sure you are available when they do.
The title might as well be "What not to say to someone being burnt alive at the stake".
Reality - 90% of the time, there's nothing you can say that will make a depressive magically get better. You can offer support ("I love you", "You're a great friend") or suggest they get help. You shouldn't say very destructive things (suicide jokes are a no-no). But most of the things you say will not, in themselves, make much of a difference. Worrying about whether you are saying the right thing is a waste of energy. It's better to address the real problem, which is quite often their lack of activity (which magnifies their underlying worries).
You can't help a depressive, simply by talking at them. It does help a bit to have a friendly chat. It helps to invite them out for a meal, or some exercise, or whatever else.
But the idea that someone else's depression is something you can control purely by talking at (not to) them is mostly rubbish. Perhaps sometimes they do need a shoulder to cry on. Just make sure you are available when they do.