To scratch at it, yeah I'm painting myself here a bit because I'm very annoyed at having to socialize in an office vs. just being able to show up and work. 100% I would rather work through my afternoons than go do team building activities - those things have been more about weird in-group "culture fit" crap vs. growing closer to my coworkers. Going from being a professional in Iowa where this didn't happen as much to California where "tech-bro" is a thing... well let's just say way more weird socializing happens out here.
> If you do this and it’s not drinking beer in the office that’s holding you back, I’d seriously look for alternative employment. The good news is you’ll be infinitely more employable as a result.
Exactly - and that's exactly what I did in the anecdotal situation I outlined above. I promise you though, many places are like this and you will ostracize yourself if you make the same mistakes I did. Keeping your nose down while everyone else is making their buddies is a very bad idea. Apparently, I'm paid to drink, go play minigolf, and race gokarts - sure this sounds like it's awesome to a lot of folks but for this middle aged engineer I just want to finish the work and go home. I have a damn family.
This is part of the reason I felt like work from home was kind of "the great equalizer" via the way it took those who coast by on social capital down and increased the visibility of the non-social high producers. At my firm at least we laid off some middle management who were highly visible but weren't big contributors for specific deliverables during the pandemic.
Outside of that particular bubble, "wrecking ball" carries inherently destructive connotations. Even in positive usage, I've only seen it used to convey creative destruction.
> people tend to hate the wrecking ball who doesn't participate in 2:00pm office beers
The former (wrecking ball), people will tend to hate. The latter (beers), people should be fine with. I speak from experience on this.
Find out why people perceive you as a wrecking ball and change your behaviour to not actively antagonise your colleagues.
If you do this and it’s not drinking beer in the office that’s holding you back, I’d seriously look for alternative employment. The good news is you’ll be infinitely more employable as a result.