It sounds like you're burnt out on bad company/team culture then? I can assure you that there are still plenty of teams that operate similar to your early career experience. These tend to be in smaller companies. But even larger ones exist that offer team autonomy, participation in customer discovery, and sane management practices. You just have to be very careful about sussing out this info during the interview process.

I guess what I'm getting at is while there are plenty of shitty teams, I wouldn't say it's an indictment on the industry as a whole. After 20-ish years in it, I'm actually optimistic that things are improving as new companies shed more of the traditional command-and-control techniques.