> I was on SSRIs for a time until my thoughts became so irreversibly cloudy that I weened off and stopped. After that I coincidentally stopped drinking, my weight dropped, and now I've stopped using weed for the most part. My anxiety doesn't go away, even if I go ride my bike for hours.

You may want to try a primarily anaerobic exercise like lifting weights to supplement your cardio. Your mileage may vary, but I personally get a huge endorphin rush from a heavy[1] deadlift. It's so powerful that it takes an effort to not start hugging other people at the gym.

> I've noticed relying on my friends to vent just sours relationships. As much as people gloat about support systems, it's mainly a farce. People will only tolerate hearing so much of your internal dissonance, concerns, and stressors. People want to enjoy you, for the most part. Maybe a partner will be there for you, but not likely in my experience (though, I'm unmarried, so take what I say with a grain of salt.)

More than anything else, people remember how you make them feel. If you're always dumping your negative issues on them, even if they like you, subconsciously they'll learn to associate you with feeling bad and avoid you.

A much better approach is to show an interest in your friends and try to sympathize with what's going well in their lives. And I mean really sympathize. Let yourself feel happiness on their behalf. Encourage them to keep it up. Then they will learn that being around you makes them feel good. Once you build up a good feelings battery in the relationship, you can draw down from it a bit when you're feeling down.

Dating is a different ball of wax. If you're having trouble with basic friendships then it's probably best to establish some healthy habits there first.

[1] https://exrx.net/Testing/WeightLifting/StrengthStandards. Bear in mind these are single rep maximum effort, which an untrained person isn't likely to properly do.