Re:Ask HN: How did you find inner peace?
by Jtsummers on Wednesday October 27, 2021 @05:23PM
(#29019315)
> Even more, don't make work, career, or even skill into your identity.
My extension: Generally avoid identity via labels.
I've had introvert friends who hated being socially isolated (from conversations with them) but who refused to be socially active (because they were introverts). A vicious cycle that they can't break out of until they stop trying to be what they believe the label tells them they are. Other labels that are self-selected or imposed by others similarly constrain people and are excellent at leading them to behave in ways they dislike and avoid the things they do like, because they don't fit with their labels.
Even more, don't make work, career, or even skill into your identity. I'm a programmer. I'm good - really good. I take a fair amount of pleasure in making a computer do something that it couldn't before. I don't like it when I go too long without doing that. But that's not who I am. It doesn't threaten my identity when I can't do that for a time.
How do you not have your identity in your work? You have to have it somewhere else. You have to know who you are when you're not at work.