Re:Ask HN: I'm making like 0 friends at college, how to fix it?
by fxtentacle on Saturday October 23, 2021 @03:57PM
(#28971705)
Fully agree with #2.
No matter how clever you are, feeling at ease around people takes some practice. I used to be considered super extroverted, but now after the lock-downs, I also feel a bit awkward inside. So pick an event that might be interesting - any event really - and go there. Try to spend 1 hour without staring at your phone and instead look at what's going on, what other people are doing, and what you could do.
Also #3. You'll be surprised at how little what you say actually matters, as long as you are generally friendly, attentive, listen to them, and are halfway hygienic. Most people are so worried about what you might think about them that they barely have time to form an opinion about you.
At that event, there will probably be other people that are lonely, too. You'll need to divide them into 2 groups:
a) they are alone because they are difficult to talk to, or in a bad mood
b) they are alone because they are in a similar situation as you
So if you see anyone that is alone, makes eye contact, and seems friendly, just talk to them.
"I went here alone because I was so curious about X but everyone else already had plans. Why did you come?"
Extra credits: Try to start your questions with Why or How. It gives the other person an opportunity to talk about something unrelated, if they want to.
No matter how clever you are, feeling at ease around people takes some practice. I used to be considered super extroverted, but now after the lock-downs, I also feel a bit awkward inside. So pick an event that might be interesting - any event really - and go there. Try to spend 1 hour without staring at your phone and instead look at what's going on, what other people are doing, and what you could do.
Also #3. You'll be surprised at how little what you say actually matters, as long as you are generally friendly, attentive, listen to them, and are halfway hygienic. Most people are so worried about what you might think about them that they barely have time to form an opinion about you.
At that event, there will probably be other people that are lonely, too. You'll need to divide them into 2 groups: a) they are alone because they are difficult to talk to, or in a bad mood b) they are alone because they are in a similar situation as you So if you see anyone that is alone, makes eye contact, and seems friendly, just talk to them.
"I went here alone because I was so curious about X but everyone else already had plans. Why did you come?"
Extra credits: Try to start your questions with Why or How. It gives the other person an opportunity to talk about something unrelated, if they want to.