It's always okay to ask for things. There would be no way for society to adapt, progress, or change if people were limited to only asking for things that they knew in advance they were allowed to have. If it's legal for a telemarketer, pollster, reporter, cop, or recruiter to contact me and ask me questions then it's just as legal for me to contact and ask a web server a question. The correct response to unauthorized requests is a 4xx, not a lawsuit.
More to the point, what makes it okay to ask a new web server for "/" without permission? Even if browse-through terms of service were legally enforceable they aren't known to the user or the browser before making the first connection and request.
If a web server doesn't want to answer questions then don't connect it to the Internet.
If you know doing x will cause y, then when you do x you are doing y and you are responsible for the consequences of doing y. It doesn't matter what x was.
This is especially true in the real world.
You can certainly assign various levels of blame and responsibility to the human "server" in those scenarios. But the human on the other side of the interaction, the one requesting information, doesn't magically become free of reproach. If they are requesting information they know they should not have access to, and then making use of that information for their own gain, they're guilty too.
There's a very narrow carve-out for the white-hat: requesting information with the intent of uncovering vulnerabilities, with the intent to help them get fixed. We expect a white-hat actor here to destroy and not make use of any information they obtain that they shouldn't have.
> If I go to the IRS to do some paperwork and notice it says "File #7881991" in the top right corner and I go to the clerk and ask them "Hey, can I have files 7881992 and 7881993, too?" and they give them to me, who is liable for that? It's quite obvious.
Yes, it is obvious: the clerk is liable for giving you something they shouldn't have, and you are liable for fraudulently representing yourself as someone who should have access to those files.
I don't get where this idea of "the other person let me do the crime, so the crime is ok" comes from. That's just not how the law works in the real world. If you then walked out of the IRS office with those files, I would absolutely expect you to get arrested. (Even if you immediately gave the files back, you'd probably be on shaky legal ground.)