My situation is similar. My adopted parents were nice people, but nothing like me. I felt I little alienated growing up, and I attribute at least some of it to this. Of course, there are plenty of biological children that feel that way, too. My brother, who was my adopted mother's biological child, no doubt had a harder time then me because of a learning disability. And I recall a friend who grew up sensitive, artistic, and gay, much to the horror of his macho race-car-driving biological father.

My son (adopted) was born highly dependent and high. He spent the first two months of his life in NICU, the first nine months on strong narcotics to survive. And yet, by some happy miracle, so far, at age 3, he's doing wonderful. He is in a healthy, supportive, educational environment. But most of his success seems to be him. He seems to have won the genetic lottery.

Thank you so much for adopting, and glad to hear it working so well even with a rough start!

I grew up separated from my father and his side of the family, and when I finally met them as an adult it blew my mind -- so that's where I get it from! My mannerisms, my sense of humor... I had always felt like an alien, and getting to know that side of the family was the most validating experience of my entire life.

>I was dumbfounded upon meeting my biological parents as an adult to discover how much of ME was genetic. [...] my parents had a rough time with me because of how different I was from them.

What differences are you talking about? In behavior? In intelligence?