So I stopped playing games and started to live again. First I was not in the shape to meet people a lot. It was too exhausting to concentrate on them. So I started running and exercising regularly. It helped me cope with uncontrolled mind. Tiring myself physically really improved my mood and sleep. After half the year I felt so fit that it also boosted my self confidence. This also helped me to look attractive for other people. I stoped looking like nerd wasting time with games, but I started to look like fit guy full of energy ready for anything.
Computer games felt the same as medication. It did not help me to recover but it just helped me not feel shit about myself and kept me at the same place.
Can't say that overall it was a net positive experience, although it did get my mind off the trauma and the traumatic memory and it did help moderately with depression (I am not depressed now, about a year later)
> Ultimately I think it helped me cope, but I also was aware that it was a very alluring sort of way of life to work, school, escape into video games, and nothing else.
Ah yes, that's generally the conclusion I came to as well. I'm scaling it down as of this moment, personally.
It was never drama free, lots of personal stories and reflections, but it felt like those topics were somewhat more balanced against a larger story / mature / etc. After a while everything seemed to get more immature / sappy / etc.
For me that was video games. So I played final fantasy and other games a great deal and found that the issues I was thinking of often did start to fade over time.
I don't know if it was the fact that the task required my attention so much or a sort of zen experience I could get with the game ... or just time passing, but it felt like it worked.
The only downside I felt was how not "in the world" I was at that time. Not really socializing much and etc in favor of drowning myself in video games.
Ultimately I think it helped me cope, but I also was aware that it was a very alluring sort of way of life to work, school, escape into video games, and nothing else.