Absolutely. But I've found that small talk sows the seeds for a much better landing. It's not something I find myself wanting to life hack away. Because often the small talk transforms within a couple of minutes or even seconds into something "Real" or "Unique" (quotes around those words not because I don't think small talk isn't real or unique, but what likely a lot of people might think. Basically, what I mean by "Real" or "Unique" is to say, transcendental.)

YMMV, but it's been my experience that small talk is a skill that you can exercise and has its own value, not simply something to be waited through until you can get to something of substance.

One of my good friends spent a couple of years selling grain silos to farmers in the American Midwest. I heard about this some years later when we were living in the same community again and able to get together for coffee once in awhile.

He commented how often the following question opened farmers up to a much deeper conversation that had nothing to do with grain silos. His opening question would often be "How goes the battle?"

Although he did well at selling, he is a person who is genuinely interested in others in a warm caring way. So I am sure it was his manner as well as the specific question. But I love the question as well.

How goes the battle? Immediately acknowledges that life isn't easy, that the things we struggle with are okay to talk about. However, if the person isn't in the mood to go deeper they can just respond with "fine", "alright" or "can't complain" and just move on without going deeper.

But asked in a genuine caring way, "how goes the battle?", invites a deeper more authentic response about struggles.

I love this. I might start using this – if I can summon the courage.

> Because often the small talk transforms within a couple of minutes or even seconds into something "Real" or "Unique"

I used small talk to figure out if my passengers had something interesting that I'd be interested in knowing about. Standard Questions -> specific questions.

> YMMV, but it's been my experience that small talk is a skill that you can exercise and has its own value,

"The most important thing about learning to talk to strangers is practice. Taxi driving gave me lots of new people to talk to every day." - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27835024 (submission: "The vital art of talking to strangers")

> For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”.

Not really. Most of the time, I am wishing that I did not have to talk to that person at all.

I'm with you. I find spontaneous conversation with strangers ranges from tedious to terrifying and would rather it never happens.

Depends on how people generally act on a given society I guess. Some are definitely warmer than others.