I'm in the same boat. At the beginning of my adult life, someone would say something that annoyed me and I'd start to dislike them. Now when someone says something that bothers me, I'm more likely to think something like "huh, I wonder why that bothers me so much. What they said wasn't wrong, so what triggered that reaction in me? Did I feel like they were challenging my assertions? Hmm, do I actually have evidence for those assertions? Maybe I should prove them wrong by actually, you know, finding references that support what I was telling them."