This is a very apt way to put it! I'm likely to adopt it into my own descriptions, thank you!

Advertisers should be relegated to their own greasy pit, to speak only at my pleasure and where I know to find them. Any other attempt to engage with me, anytime and anyplace else except where I explicitly permit them, is nothing less than an unwelcome intrusion. Begone, rent-seekers! Trouble us with your A/B tests no more.