It is a real drag. It also feels.. important? I guess I know what kind of feedback you are talking about because you call it nannying, but I know I've gotten feedback on how I come across, and it was unpleasant to hear, but after acting on it I noticed I got better results from social interactions. To be genuine, when I was younger there were people that I thought were cool that would do or fall into accents at times, so I tried doing it too. I was bluntly informed that it was 'not cute', which hurt, but frankly I'm grateful.

Conversely I've also been told stuff that boiled down to fitting a mold, working customer service or delivery and being told that tattoos weren't professional while consistently seeing doctors or other 'real' professionals with tattoos.

I feel like the dividing line kind of comes down to the difference between "this is how I personally interpret and feel about your actions/communication" and "this is what I suspect an imaginary other desires".