Armchair theory: taking the stereotypical idea of "squirrel on crack" both seriously and literally, maybe people on drugs become like bowerbirds with very, very broken interestingness ranking.

All the stuff you mentioned was immediately visible (so no complex problem solving to find it) and would probably look "definitely probably valuable" to a hyped up 5 year old.

Aaaaand thennnn whoever did the stealing probably just sold it all to someone else in _exactly the same condition_ (high on whatever) who also considered it valuable enough to make a fair trade to swap it all for $amount of $thing.

I'm not sure what the balance is, but it's part-hilarious and part-sad that, if this theory is correct, there's an utterly illogical commodity market being sustained by tweaked-out squirrels with half the attention span of a goldfish, leaves people scratching their heads in its wake, and is so confusingly successful people just don't park in certain places.