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Re:Ask HN: Why Bother with All This? by hawkinsw on Wednesday September 01, 2021 @02:49AM (#28377065)
Second what everyone else is saying: Please find professional help as soon as possible. In the meantime, know that we are all rooting for you! Hang in there!
Re:Ask HN: Why Bother with All This? by papaf on Wednesday September 01, 2021 @02:52AM (#28377087)
If you need to talk to someone immediately there is the Samaritans:

http://www.samaritansusa.org/contact.php

I have no idea what they are like in the US but they are very helpful in the UK.