I mean, you can let someone touch a hot stove, or not. Is letting them learn for themselves abusive? I believe that was how I learned that specific lesson, not by being hit when I reached.

On the other hand, there are things that you can't let someone learn for themselves because they won't live through it.

And what about hurting other people? Is it possible that there is an empathy circuit that doesn't necessarily get wired properly if early on, pain isn't connected to hurting others?

This doesn't have to be applied by humans in all cases. You bother the cat, it slaps you.

If physical punishment is unacceptable, does that mean the cat should be declawed so it can't do that?

I provided a few things that I thought were in kind of a gray area, in order that you might clarify how you categorize them and how you think such situations could be avoided or handled differently.

It seems to me that my comment was manifestly a combination of factual claims and questions about your beliefs, not justifications of anything.