Yeah, and obviously that's an ideal, not necessarily reality -- fresh out of college, or just looking more urgently for a job, I think the stakes are a little different and you gotta be a little more willing to just "take the job."

But as someone with experience, looking for higher-level positions, ideally with some time on your hands / savings in the bank to take your time interviewing around? Yeah, it should totally be a two-way street.

"Experienced software developer" is a comically in-demand job title. It's good to know that fact, and to be proportionately selective.