Edit: I know there are ways to avoid N+1 problems with ORMs, but it seems to more easily sneak into code when your SQL queries look just like your application level code and you could easily enumerate over some SQL result, perform some action, and think that it builds an efficient query.
I've recently been working with a hobby project where I use the Clojure HoneySQL[2] library which essentially lets you build SQL queries as you normally would, but in Clojure's EDN syntax. It treats SQL queries as data. You can super easily evaluate them to get the resulting raw SQL query strings. There is no magic behind it and it encourages you to use the full power of your db.
[1] https://theartofpostgresql.com/blog/2019-09-the-r-in-orm/ [2] https://github.com/seancorfield/honeysql
Coupled with the same thing going the other direction where we get types from our api contracts (OpenAPI/Swagger) with (laminar)[2] means that our app is very close to the "if it compiles it will run" territory.
ORMs do give you a lot of convenience though. Things like "run this additional query every time you request this entity" thing for example like for logical delete, which is unpleasant to replicate in your database. But Postgres is so freaking powerful its more of the fact that we don't know how to do it properly than it not offering a good solution.
[1] https://github.com/adelsz/pgtyped [2] https://github.com/ovotech/laminar