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Re:A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement by gpt5 on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @03:58PM (#27837685)
The moment you stop blaming others on your faults is the moment you'll start improving.
Re:A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement by mleonhard on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @04:24PM (#27837956)
Why do you assume that I'm not improving?

I started improving after I took a free 10-day meditation course (the Goenka one), four years ago. At the course, I gained the ability to notice changes in my emotions and mental state. Suddenly, I could see when my mind switches to a judgmental attitude. I began intentionally trying to prevent the switch. I also intentionally restrain myself if I do switch into that mode. Changing mental habits is difficult and worthwhile. I have improved a lot in this area in 4 years.

Two years ago, I realized that my parents taught me to be a judgmental jerk. Since that time, I have considerably reduced the bad mental habit. People close to me confirm this. Therefore, my experience contradicts your statement.

Re:A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement by ponow on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @05:21PM (#27838588)
Despite my half century and having repeatedly listened to and ruminated about "being judgemental", I can't fully fault "making judgements", for without judgement we have no comparison of worse vs better, and without that we have no basis for improvement. At issue mostly is _hasty_ judgement, uninformed, and without humility of all the potential and unknowable errors in judgement. But we definitely must judge, or stagnate.
Re:A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement by handrous on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @05:45PM (#27838821)
Judging pointlessly is a big one, too. Especially if unhelpful levels of ill emotions are all wrapped up with judging things to be bad, which is so common I think it's fair to call that most people's default state, unless they've taken effort to change that.

Fixing those (forming judgements when they serve no purpose; feeling excessive ill emotions over judgements) is about half of the self-improvement part of stoicism, as in "think the right way, and act the right way". It's most of the "think the right way" half.

Re:A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement by anp on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @04:06PM (#27837782)
It's very difficult to improve oneself without understanding the mechanisms, context, and history that contribute to one's behavior.