It's NOT funny. Just because it combines big words and swearing does not mean it's funny.

I just read it again, and I did not find any sentence that amused me at all. For example, this sentence:

"Because you can always claim to be a starving artist / poor student / down-on-his-luck poet / pitiful-single-mother-working-at-a-non-profit-even-though-you-have-three-kids / empowered, henna painted lesbian out to crush the patriarchal Man shtick or – and this is my favorite – because you don’t believe in the capitalist free market system and feel entitled to enter because, well, it’s your goddamn right as an American."

Let's zoom in even more:

"pitiful-single-mother-working-at-a-non-profit-even-though-you-have-three-kids"

This sentence, you would expect to be funny, right? Like you would expect some type of contrast, or something unusual. But it's not. It's just at that edge of credible where it could be true that it's not funny. It's not absurd, it's realistic. Why would I smile at that? It's like saying

"Computer guy who has a large office when everyone else is in a cubicle."

That's not funny because it could happen.

I really dislike this elitist attitude where all you have to do is write stuff with big words, and people think that it is funny.