Re:Ask HN: Words of encouragement for someone lost in life?
by afarviral on Saturday June 26, 2021 @06:42PM
(#27646670)
Was going to say the same thing: Immediately stopping things you enjoy, find comforting and are presumably good at (or experienced with at least), and in addition to starting new things that require extreme willpower to do (e.g. workout routines, intense social engagements, new hobbies that are not current interests)... That sort of thinking has personally been disastrous for me, or at best a very iterative process with a lot of failure and insecurity build in to it. I would always advocate to start slow with things, build off routines, take the occasional leap...sure...you have to to make any significant change, but take some small wins and build off of those. I'd worry someone reading that advice might be inclined to do everything in the extremes (as indicated) and suffer a breakdown or merely cement themselves in thinking they've been defeated. Maybe years from now is actually the best time for you to make that change, or meet that someone. Or maybe you just need to give up screens one or two days ... a week?
First, I do think there’s value to much of what you’re saying.
With that said, if time spent writing code is becoming an escapist activity, and if one is escaping from sufficiently dark demons, consider speaking with a therapist as well.
I realize this will not apply to all readers, but the trouble with this advice starts if there is depression involved. “Just be more positive”, “Just stop doing the things that currently make you feel safe and a bit more ok”.
Until you address the root cause, it’s going to be difficult to implement these changes effectively.
And if you do, you might find a happy medium (I’m getting closer every day), where programming or gaming is just a thing I love (and continue to do), and not something I have to use to escape.