TLDR: You brain lies to you - don't take it's opinions at face value.

I absolutely identify with this, and wish I had some solutions to share. One insight that may help, is that I think I measure myself too much against my perception of others' effectiveness. So I'm comparing against an unreliable, subjective benchmark that may bear no relation to reality, and I don't have the full picture of those peoples' lives to understand what makes them seem more effective, even if they are.