Oddly enough, by my second trip, that same bathroom(I assume, but can't be positive) had at least 2 functional western toilets, bidets and all. First time using one of those, and not what I'd describe as pleasant, but story for another time :).
On another note... in my wife's country many people actually do use western toilets as squatting toilets. People typically have just a typical western bowl, with no tank or seat.
The Japanese style toilets have a little button, there's 2 versions. The first uses the water pressure to function, so when you press it, the water causes it to come out and spray, these don't have any control, it's dictated by your taps water pressure.
The other is the fancy eletric ones that can go from very basic, to multi adjustment, temperature, self-cleaning, etc.
When I first saw these in Asia I thought they were absolutely stupid and pointless.
But one night I got food poisoning and ended up on the toilet, a bit messy, and i used the bidet to clean myself and...
Ok when I got gastro living in australia, I went to the toilet so many times i made my bum raw with toilet paper that it hurt.
After having food poisoning in Asia and cleaning with the Bidet then just drying off, even tho I went to the toilet many times, I didn't get a sore butt. This convinced me that they are awesome, and I've used ever since.
About 7 years ago I worked in a building where the offices all shared a bathroom with several other companies. We would always need to go to the 2nd or 4th floor if we needed to go #2 due to someone on the 3rd floor using the toilet to squat, which resulted in foot prints on the seat and $#!+ on the back of the toilet seat…
Luckily they decided to tear down the building so we were forced to move. But that is the worst experience I’ve had.
So you’re definitely not crazy haha
Edit: nothing wrong with squatting toilets, just using a sitting toilet as a squatting toilet is the issue.