Ok, no worries. I understand that from a theoretical point it's not so nice that defeq is not decidable. But frankly I don't care. Because in practice, I don't know of any example where someone was bitten by this. It only shows up in contrived examples. And even if you have some practical example where lean gets stuck on A = B, it will probably be very easy to find a C so that lean gets unstuck on A = C = B.

[Edit, this comment only replies to the first paragraph of parent. I wrote it before parent was edited.]