It wasn't all for naught, but success is not going to completely fill the hole inside. Lesson? It's simple, don't work all the time and neglect your family. I cringe everytime I hear Musk talking about working 100 hours a week. He has kids by previous marriages afaik, but it sounds to me like he's not much more than a sperm donor. He's a terrible role model for fathers. I worked probably 70 to 80 hours a week for 9 years. My son has a lot of complaints about me not being there and he's right. The only thing I can say to him is that I'm here now.

I've found lots of founders either become 1) big time family people, or 2) small grocery store operators, or 3) heavily radicalized leftists.

One of these is not like the others.

It sounds a bit like you personally reached high status, then discovered that status is hollow. Was that a big part of it?

Do you think you would have been as disappointed if you had ignored your goals and settled for a more “normal” life?

>personally reached high status

when 'high status' is the benchmark, there's going to be an element of let-down & disgust with one's self on arriving.

i'm seeing less and less smart people think in terms of status.

I'm confident you will be there for him in the future too.

Maybe it was whose definition of “success” the person was pursuing…conventional definitions are conventional because people accept them without deep reflection on whether they are right for them. They are easier to adopt than to question.

Or a problem with winning the rat race is you have to be a rat.

Unhappiness is worse than for naught.

If you've seen Breaking Bad (if not, I'm not spoiling much) there is a scene where he tells his wife "I did it all for the family" and she disgustingly turns her head away and says something like "You did it for your own ego. You didn't care about us." It's kind of like that.

I apologize for mischaracterizing your experience. I am sorry.

I hope you are healing.