I guess I need to rephrase. It's the mentality of an immature child to elect not to do what they believe they should do, or want to do because of fear of punishment.

You've never had a boss for whom you held your tongue despite knowing they were wrong because the negative consequences of you speaking outweighed the positives? Never had a significant other who was unreasonable about a particular subject and you chose to just go along with them for the good of your relationship? If so I envy you.

No, because what you're describing isn't about hiding an identity from the public. What you're talking about is the ability to speak with tact. I disagree with my boss about a lot of things. I commonly explain why he's wrong or why I'm right. Then in the very rare cases when we still disagree, I do what he asks because he's my boss. If you can't say something you think is true about your work because you fear the repercussions. That's not normal. And a huge red flag.

Ditto for my ex-SO who we've disagreed with about a few things. If you talk to someone with respect, and compassion with the goal of understanding over proving you're right. It's very easy to disagree harmoniously. But again, that's a matter of respect and tact. Not about separating who you appear to be from what you actually believe.

I'm hard pressed to think of a more toxic relationship with someone you'd call your significant other than one where you have to pretend to be or pretend believe something fake just to avoid something that may be uncomfortable. If you're speaking from experience; I don't envy you. That sounds like a horrible way to live your life. Avoiding conversations because of fear of conversations that require tact. If that really is you, you have a lot of learning about how to have conversations to make up for.