With respect, I'm keenly aware that they think differently, and as for the disconnect, it's because they're an adolescent with a brain that is still figuring out their body. Unfortunately, Pavlovian reinforcement is sadly sometimes necessary to get a point across, especially when its a repetitive issue.

My parents took that approach, which resulted in me not getting an ADD diagnosis until I was in my mid 30s. While I've been fortunate in life overall, it's no exaggeration to say my life would be dramatically different for the better if I'd learned what was actually going on as a kid.

If you view parenting as a pavlovian process rather than mutual communication and learning, then I'm here to warn you that if you walk down that path far enough, you will experience a day where you discover your children loathe you.

What would you have preferred?

For them to realize something was going on beyond "doesn't apply himself" or similar phrasing that attributed what was happening to a combination of laziness and character flaw and to then consult an actual professional.

Instead I got a whole lot of punishment, much of it physical, because my parents are also evangelical extremists.

I feel sorry for you to hear about that. Hope you're ok :)

Thanks for the kind words. I have my issues but in the big picture I'm no doubt one of the luckiest humans walking this planet and have zero illusions about it.

I'm struggling to understand how Pavlovian training can develop a skill for finding lost objects.