On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness

Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness by benlivengood on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @02:24PM (#27040889)

> I'm not sure I buy this. I'm a man who has lots of close friendships (many of which are with women, but some of which are with men), and I still feel like it's not enough and that I want a romantic/sexual partner. A partner is not a replacement for a close circle of friends, but neither is close circle of friends a replacement for a partner.

I think the difference is between wants and needs. Aside from a very small number of people most of us need friends and family who care about us and meet our emotional needs. Children need this unconditionally but adults have to take responsibility of their emotional needs and fulfill them in a healthy way by making and keeping friends. I think sexual and romantic desires are not needs; they are very strong desires and their fulfillment is definitely wonderful but life can be happy and fulfilling without them.

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Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness by hombre_fatal on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @03:00PM (#27041462)

I wouldn’t be so fast to dismiss it as a want for most people. I would wager most men feel like emasculated failures if they cannot attract a mate when surrounded by single women. It seems unlikely that a large portion of men only view romantic success as a mere cherry on top.

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Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness by watwut on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @05:02PM (#27042857)

But that is basically wanting trophy wife. So you have her, do that you can show off to other guys.

And I mean, she will eventually figure out and resent that.

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