If this seems non-intuitive, remember that the Schwarzschild radius varies linearly with mass, and tidal forces scale like mass / radius^3. So tidal forces at the event horizon scale like 1/mass^2. A black hole that is 100 million times heavier will have tidal forces that are 10 quadrillion times smaller at its event horizon.
But the "no-hair theorem" that says that a black hole can be characterized using only 3 properties does not apply instantly, but only after some time of isolation.
For a small black hole the time is very short, but for a huge black hole that will not tear you apart it takes a long time. So even a classic huge black hole has more internal state that should be measurable from outside.
> Anyway, after an hour of blending, you will get a horrible homogeneous mix.
This (plus hawking radiation being that horrible homogeneous mix) sums up the solution to the black hole information paradox really well, thank you.
Imagine a blender. According to quantum mechanics, using a blender for an hour is an unitary transformation, so it will not destroy the information, and it's an invertible operation, you can reconstruct the original items. [And even a classic blender is invertible at the molecular level. It's only not invertible if you consider the friction and other average macroscopically properties.] Anyway, after an hour of blending, you will get a horrible homogeneous mix.
But (if the current models are correct) a Neutron star is very different in the crust that is a few km near the surface. It has many levels with different properties that are called "nuclear pasta" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_pasta and one with graphics that explain the names https://astrobites.org/2017/10/05/nuclear-pasta-in-neutron-s...
Going again to the blender example, it's like a bad blended mix, that has foam at the surface, a liquid in the middle and solids at the bottom.