I refuse to accept that my life must fulfill some utilitarianism of nebulous “value,” I would sooner ascribe to a Calvinist predestination than accept that framework for living.

This suffers from a fundamental problem. If the creation of value is the ultimate good, and we are obligated to maximize that good, we could do a lot better job at it than smiling some dopamine into our neighbor as you suggest. We’re all irredeemably evil for not doing so.