The referral fee here is on the very high side of engineer referrals, but mid-high 4 figures aren't unusual at all. $8k is also a big deal. Would that poison your friendship?

Meanwhile, "too stingy" to pay a recruiter? How about, too savvy? Recruiters suck. I would be marginally more likely to want to work for a company that went out of their way to avoid recruiters.