That wasn't intended to be a joke. It might sound comical but it would solve the problem and would probably the first solution an 8-year-old would think of.

I don't think mentioning that an 8-year-old thinking of this idea actually helps your argument in this case

Which points out the the real answer to the question: Nvidia doesn't want it solved. Not just that they don't care, but they're making more money now — so they don't want it solved.

Not really, they're selling out and making the same amount of money because the crypto-nuts buying and hoarding them are still buying them at list price. And they are not making use of 90% of the features available on the cards.