There's the key. Their marketing has convinced millions of current and future devs that they are the best places to work for; that they are worth doing silly things for just to work there.
The problem is that many of their "wins" are from decades ago (or more). Today, for Google at least, you can't even choose what you'll be working on. You'll be tossed wherever they think they need you. Even the best new hires won't make it to the largest salaries (dominated by veterans) and won't get to spend their 20% time (if they even get it) on the next gmail.
The best advice I can offer, about two decades into my career, is to stop chasing the shiny marketing material. They'll burn you out and replace you without blinking.
Almost every non-family owned business now hires developers (and data scientists), some for very good salaries in places where you're not paying thousands of dollars monthly to be someone's roommate.
But it's all relative. At least from this side of the fence, I see FAANG (and other top tech companies) have less downsides and more upsides, relatively speaking, compared to your typical non-tech companies.
The point is emphasized by friends and ex-coworkers who've jumped ship to FAANG and other top tech companies after working at non-tech companies like where I am. All of them seem to love it.
I am not sure what you mean by this, but at least a couple of years ago you did have the opportunity to talk to several different teams and decide which one you're joining before signing the offer. Is that not the case anymore?
That hit hard! Thanks for putting that in words!
I don't like that that's how it is, but that's what the game is, and most people are in no position to change the rules of the game.
I also acknowledge that despite all its flaws, the SWE interview landscape is still better than say, that for lawyers, where if you didn't graduate from a top law school some doors are immediately and permanently shut for you.
You can still get into a top tech company without an outstanding pedigree. The closest analogue to the lawyer situation is that if you have a top tech company on your resume, I'd say many doors are opened (or opened much more easily) to you than someone without such name brand companies on their resume.