I think there is another option. There are thousands of small software companies that don't have the growth or traction to get bought out, are happily making relatively small amounts of money in their niche (but still enough to pay decent salaries - not SV salaries, but enough to live on comfortably), and care about both their customers and their code. They tend to employ relatively few engineers, who stay for a long time, and have founders who know their market niche really well.
You won't hear of them, because you're not in their specialised niche and they don't market outside their niche because they don't need investment. They're not really interested in going public, or being acquihired, or even gaining a trade sale, though that is the ultimate destination for most of them (when the founder decides to retire). They're not "sexy", except if you like actually practising your craft and building rock-solid products ("software you can love" - good phrase).
Though I kinda resent the industry's focus on Big Tech, like all we can talk about is these few mammoth dysfunctional nightmares that take up all the room. There's lots of good tech work out there too!
YC has as a sort of a motto "build something people want", or something along those lines, and I doubt that founders are all equally happy to see their ideas become a garbage can of hamfisted revenue streams, but that's where you end up when you get VC money, give up board seats, and can't show "sufficient" growth.
On this last topic there was an interesting discussion a while ago about where VCs and founder interest is misaligned.
https://medium.com/@jodij/why-is-venture-capital-so-misalign...
https://www.livemint.com/Home-Page/vcHwylgEDmCC9JatZ0kTQM/A-...
This problem alone is probably at the root (or very close to) a disproportionate amount of dissatisfaction when it comes to startup software.
That said, there's surely more to this story, but this is already a great point to discuss, especially in a place like HN.