This so much.

I’ve been having such a hard time managing my symptoms because of burnout, and a long stretch of unemployment when I left my last job, and a determination to get a more healthy life set up that I haven’t been able to listen to music. I’m a musician, primarily for my own personal enjoyment, and I can’t even bear to hear a song. Because so many other things are jammed up in my brain.

tell me more! Struggling to finish, get out what you want, don’t like what you make, overly judgemental of your work? I am musician/ADHDer for the love of it.

The burnout was due to a series of serious external issues that impacted a service I worked on, and not having enough resources on my team to keep up. I left the job to focus on my mental health and recover from that.

Since then, I decided to build a personal site/art project (link in bio) and yeah, months struggling to finish and excessive perfectionism. Not excessive judgment once I got to some kind of finish line though, I’m super proud of what I started and excited about stuff I plan to do with it in the future.

Now I’m just focused on getting back on track financially. I’m not broke but have some pretty severe trauma response to the possibility having spent years earlier in life in poverty. Makes it hard to think about much else until I’ve got a bit of cushion again.

That is some pretty impressive stuff!

Has it helped or just continued the inevitable?

Good luck with it!

Thank you! It’s definitely helped. I’m really fortunate I could take any time at all, and doubly fortunate that I had two exciting prospects come along right around the time I was ready to get back to work.

This happens after alcohol abuse too. If you abuse alcohol enough, you cannot enjoy stuff without alcohol.

It fries your dopamine receptors, this is drugs 101. Your are not going to take speed every day for years and function normally, and you will literally need confirmation bias to make sense of that reality.

Also, here is another weird tidbit from life. You might not like the stuff you used to like anymore but you won’t even know since you are sure it’s the disease.

> It fries your dopamine receptors, this is drugs 101.

Funny you should say that, as there is much research to say that ADHD is primarily a resistance to dopamine and serotonin. See: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolutionary-psychia...

This is how Ritalin works, by slowing down the reputable of dopamine.

So, imagine the state of anhedonia you’re familiar with from long-term drug abuse - then imagine that is your base state.

It’s a Dopamine (mostly) and slight Serotonin re-uptake inhibitor. In the most basic explanation, more of those two things makes you feel good about whatever it is you are doing. It’s euphoric in it’s onset.

If you play games with this daily you will need to believe that all hard work should be primed with a natural feeling of euphoria.

Just because you have intense experience with addiction doesn’t mean every other problem people have in life is addiction with a cheap disguise.

This was a major symptom that led me to seek a diagnosis. I was never diagnosed/medicated for ADHD until I was 25.

This was a major contributor for me too. Also alcohol abuse as self medication which is extraordinarily common in undiagnosed adult ADHD cases.

Smoking tobacco too

That’s also true. And also a stimulant that has relaxing effects.

it’s super clear you’ve struggled through a lot. i hope one day you get the help you need.

Oh I got my help. I bottomed out, often the only way. Took years of bullshitting, but the dosage just ramps up and up and up.

If you start the kids on it that young, up the pressure, and put them in the same room where everyone else is doped up on it, I can promise you will cook an entire generation of knowledge workers by the time they are 30.