For me, resilience is more like bending tree branches. The green ones return to their original shape easily once force is removed, the dry ones keep their form as long as possible, but snap abruptly if too much force is exerted. Repeated bending results in microfractures, then breaking in either type.

IOW "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

This is certainly wildly untrue for many sorts of trauma. What doesn't kill you can leave you less capable, weaker, more vulnerable, etc...

You might have to be resilient to deal with the trauma without collapsing, and then find that you still have to be resilient to deal with your new, permanently changed life after the fact too.

No one ever became stronger by getting their legs crushed by a ton of metal. In fact, I'd argue they mostly became weaker.

That is motivational, but inaccurate.