I love my wife, I generally enjoy my job. I literally run in the park everyday. I don’t sit around in a dark room despairing (at least not until I go to bed).
I do my absolute best to get the most out of life. But the feeling of dread stays with me no matter what I do. It taints every memory and every waking moment. I can’t run from my thoughts, try as I might.
If you want to chat more, let me know how to get in touch.
My email is charliecollard0 at gmail dot com.
I feel like such a fool for going down this path, but I've recently been reading up on life extension, and Aubrey de Grey in particular. In fact, I did a Google search for his name on hacker news, and this thread came up and I recognised your handle in the discussion!
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20854050
It's embarrassing how much relief even thinking about the possibility of having more time with the people I love gives me, compared to everything else I've tried. Do you think it's healthy to have this in the back of my mind as a possiblity? My rational side wants to dismiss it as just another religion of a different shade, and I feel it does set myself up for a lot of disappointment at an older age. After all, if it sounds too good to be true...
Have you gone down this road yourself?
We’re all default dead in the long run, make the most of what time you have with whatever brings you joy and happiness. Choose to run.