How can you tell if someone is lying?

Re:How can you tell if someone is lying? by roflc0ptic on Sunday March 28, 2021 @09:01AM (#26609981)

If they wrote that he was being vindictive and spiteful, then I don’t think it quite qualifies as armchair psychology on GP’s part

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Re:How can you tell if someone is lying? by darkerside on Sunday March 28, 2021 @10:34AM (#26610709)

They were assessing character and yes, making a judgement on it, which was their role. I find it likely that OPs behavior came off as seeming vindictive and spiteful, even if not intended that way. They would have done better to observe specific behaviors (which they did fairly with "slouching"), but their intent was likely to judge character and fit for the school, based on the evidence in front of them.

Not saying it's easy, especially for a kid, but if you go in front of a panel like that, if you can demonstrate remorse and desire to change, it goes a long way.

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Re:How can you tell if someone is lying? by theelous3 on Sunday March 28, 2021 @11:13AM (#26611013)

> if you can demonstrate remorse and desire to change, it goes a long way

It sounds like you're presuming to know more about what happened there than you can. I fully expressed remorse, and explained how in hindsight I understand that what I was doing was disruptive, and that I wouldn't behave that way in the future, etc.

Their rubbish analysis was just that. Also, how is "slouching" a fair thing to observe in analysis? I sit with bad posture. I did then and I do now. It's completely irrelevant.

Oh, I should also point out that by this point I had been clinically diagnosed with ADD - which they expressed, and I'll have to paraphrase as it was about 13-14 years ago, was "made up" and that it couldn't possibly explain my behaviour.

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Re:How can you tell if someone is lying? by darkerside on Sunday March 28, 2021 @06:05PM (#26615123)

Yeah, I wasn't there and don't presume to know what actually happened. This will come off the wrong way, but I don't know another way to say it so... Feedback is a gift. Even if it's wrong, it is based on some kind of truth in someone's perception. Sometimes it's truly worthless, but I believe there's always something to learn from our fellow humans, even if they express their message in an utterly disgusting way.

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Re:How can you tell if someone is lying? by nitrogen on Sunday March 28, 2021 @10:56AM (#26610873)

Not saying it's easy, especially for a kid, but if you go in front of a panel like that, if you can demonstrate remorse and desire to change, it goes a long way.

This only furthers the advantage of those most willing and able to lie. Especially so when the system and punishment is arbitrary and capricious rather than rooted in first principles. We should focus on outcomes and shared goals, not easily faked attitudes.

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Re:How can you tell if someone is lying? by darkerside on Sunday March 28, 2021 @06:07PM (#26615140)

Why do you assume it's a lie? I'd say it's at worst uncorrelated to the truth. And, apart from whether you mean it or not, I believe there's value in learning how to tell people that you do. It's up to you then to decide whether you want to use that power to lie.

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Re:How can you tell if someone is lying? by theelous3 on Sunday March 28, 2021 @08:07PM (#26616207)

GP isn't saying it's a lie, they are saying it rewards liars. That's an important distinction.

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Re:How can you tell if someone is lying? by darkerside on Monday March 29, 2021 @12:24AM (#26617688)

> This only furthers the advantage of those most willing and able to lie.

The presence of the word "only" clearly makes an assumption that it is a lie.

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