also missing are girls crying in the loo and occasional muffled sounds of a fight unfolding outside

Ah the best few minutes of anyone's day.

"Every Irish Pub ever." (Absolutely hilarious)

https://youtu.be/Hy2AYdBtzBo

and the bathroom attendant in the guys bathroom not letting two guys go in the stall together to do cocaine, while getting berated by everyone in line about equality because the girls go in stalls together routinely

You guys have security in the bathroom?

It was actually my day job from which I eventually pivoted into infosec. The industry is full of people like myself who aren't bothered by the smell of human feces dressed up as technological solutions. Thinking back, I guess I came a long way. But it all started in that loo! Always remember your roots!