Re:When did writing in major newspapers become so bad?
by jfengel on Tuesday March 09, 2021 @01:10PM
(#26401610)
Just for comparison, in the active voice:
"The assassins killed John, the cleaning lady discovered his body later, the morticians carried him out and the pathologists dissected him."
It is better, though not massively so. It's tighter. (Personally I'd break it into four sentences, but that's just me. I also would have used an Oxford comma, for that matter.)
The real problem is that the passive voice can be used for:
"John was killed, his body was later discovered, carried out, and dissected".
It's definitely punchy, and as the beginning of a thriller novel its vagueness could be exciting. But any place else you're left mostly with questions. It would be terrible in a newspaper account. And in an actual police report, it would sound like somebody was covering something up.
"The assassins killed John, the cleaning lady discovered his body later, the morticians carried him out and the pathologists dissected him."
It is better, though not massively so. It's tighter. (Personally I'd break it into four sentences, but that's just me. I also would have used an Oxford comma, for that matter.)
The real problem is that the passive voice can be used for:
"John was killed, his body was later discovered, carried out, and dissected".
It's definitely punchy, and as the beginning of a thriller novel its vagueness could be exciting. But any place else you're left mostly with questions. It would be terrible in a newspaper account. And in an actual police report, it would sound like somebody was covering something up.