Like my neighbor is a curious person (perhaps more chatty than I would like)? Between acquaintances the above would be compassionate conversation. Of course in the wrong context many innocuous questions can come off as patronizing, and an employer should ask work-related questions over outside culture questions naturally. However, the plane-neighbor conversation doesn't seem belittling at face value.

What quality did you use for x?

>What was it like growing up x? Was it hard? Tell me about how hard it was for you."

I don't see absolutely any problem with that. In fact it's something we talk about frequently in casual discussions.

Sure beats BS casual talk that means nothing. It also gives you the opportunity to give the other person an idea about x (e.g. my ethnicity).

Perhaps it's about different ways societies see casual talk?