Who's database?

It’s ironic the premise is we trust nuclear weapons to the government but not our pithy accounts of bitcoin - which in the event of a trust-less government is worthless (because of the arsenal)

Odd framing. No one "trusts" nuclear weapons to the government as opposed to having control themselves. "Pithy accounts" (money) represent to a fairly large degree an individual's autonomy / freedom / independence. Is it so bad to find it appealing that one may wish to assert more control over this given the choice?

I say this as someone who finds crypto to look like almost a complete scam but I can't dispute the appeal of the concept.

We all get databases. They're a commodity. e.g. AWS will sell you a DynamoDB table for $cheap.

We should migrate Bitcoin to someone's DynamoDB table? Or did you not read the root comment?

Yeah. If you only want to handle around 7 transactions a second, you can buy an of the shelf Db such as a DynamoDB table for that, and it will cost you next to nothing.