Sadly, this is absolutely correct. I want to say I wish someone told me this sooner... but they kinda did... only in hints that were easy for me to misunderstand. Socially dumber people, like me, need to be told things less ambiguously.
Things like hard work, kindness, sincerity, positivity, openness... yes, they definitely contribute to long-term success and happiness. Problem is, your looks decide which doors will open for you. And it doesn't matter if hypothetically you could do a great job, if you are not allowed to try. On the other hand, if you get invited to many places, you get many opportunities to practice, so even if you suck at first, over time you improve.
There is this thing called "halo effect", which means that if you are attractive, people are going to assume all kinds of good things about you, without any evidence, sometimes despite the evidence to contrary.
> Also, I'm pretty sure every girl learns this the day they wear makeup, and then the day they don't.
With makeup, it is easy to make an A/B test. I wonder if we could borrow an artificial body and face for a day, how much that would change our priorities in life.
It's about a reversible procedure that inhibits the ability for people to detect prettiness 'calliagnosia'. They talk about 'lookism'.
It does an interesting job exploring what this would mean and the good and bad associated with it (which I think Ted Chiang always does a great job of).
It's definitely worth reading.
There’s also other inferences you can draw, such as being disciplined enough to groom, having time and money to have clean, fitting clothes, etc.
So I started focusing on superficial stuff. Better clothes, better style, cologne, shit like that. I don't think these things alone would be enough to matter; I think it's really important to work on who you are on the inside before becoming a facade.
But holy fuck there's a difference. From what I can tell, being more or less attractive is the single biggest factor in how people will treat you.
And from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense: good looking is supposed to mean good genes, and good genes are precious.
Sorry if this is kind of a bummer thing to talk about, but I think the more aware of it we become as a species, the closer we'll get to recognizing our pre-programmed bias towards good looks and perhaps looking passed it to the actual quality of the character.
Also, I'm pretty sure every girl learns this the day they wear makeup, and then the day they don't.