Look, I get that you don't like the advice to overwrite the first 1GB of a drive, probably because it strikes you as inelegant and suboptimal. But you've done a horrible job of identifying any real problems with that method, and it's certainly simpler and more reliable than the procedures in the blog post that didn't work. And your proposed "portable, reliable, robust" method is by any measure less portable, and not available at all on macOS.