Looking at my cats, I presume they ignore anything neat and impressive, prepared for them. And instead go for the first thing that satisfies their current whim.

So, a hodgepodge of bash, basic, Python, JavaScript and some C. Or Java if it happens to be just on top in some menu. And NIH: obviously theyr own ZiggyLang or ZazaScript.

You are absolutely correct, because there is a great Scala library called "Cats"! https://typelevel.org/cats/