Hot take: Maybe, if you're building something (or especially changing something) as a SME that many people use, and you fuck it up in a way most people don't like, you're still a jerk.

Maybe.

I think the discussion should happen.

Because I don't think "I wrote it, if you don't like it, you write it" is a 100% defense to hordes of upset users.

When you have enough users, any change will make hordes of them unhappy, just because 0.01% is already a horde.

There's no defense needed; nobody is on trial. These hordes of users can start paying for developers if they want certain work done.

You got me! The word defense is, in fact, only used in courts of law.

Hot take: As a software engineer, or absolutely anything else, don't owe these people anything. I'm building software in the direction that I want to bring it. If they're unhappy, they're free to leave. But to have them come on public forums and call you a jerk, that's just comical.