The most fascinating part of this journey is finally understanding myself better. I've been spending hours every week reading others experiences with ADHD, watching videos (Dr. Russell Barkley is awesome), and in general just figuring out who I am and why I'm that way. I'm beginning to understand that habits I've had, such as being "hyper organized" (actually, being utterly dependent on my calendar) were just coping mechanisms needed to get things done. It almost warrants an entire self-evaluation.
Your description of the stress response seems plausible. All my life I've oscillated pretty strictly between hyper-anxious and utterly indifferent, the latter probably serving as a coping mechanism. Suddenly now I'm able to comfortably live in the middle ground. I'll do what needs done today, and know that what needs done next week/month/year will get addressed when it's time.
Anyway, I really appreciate the feedback and wisdom. Wishing you the best of luck.
First of all, make sure you get that diagnosis. Don't go wild with the medication thing, because the first thing that the medication should do is bring you from the "giving up in advance" level to the "ooh, I can learn about and try some things that might help me to take control of my own life" level.
And for now, start ignoring "anyone who doesn't have our experience" and what they think and shout, because I think you won't start to feel any better after reading all of that.
Hans
P.S. my un-scientific explanation for the overload of stress reactions (and anxiety and panic attacks) is that in absence of 'neurotypical' ways to get us going, the body goes into an emergency stress loop, producing stress hormones and adrenaline all the time, to try get us going to do anything at all.