It reads as an extremist take on Chesterton’s Fence: “the fence exists, therefore it is probably the only thing that could’ve worked.”

There is nothing in this contrived example that F# or Haskell (gasp, pure functional) wouldn’t handle with ease. It just would be modeled differently from traditional langs. I’d argue the alternative modeling forced by FP langs would be superior.

" I’d argue the alternative modeling forced by FP langs would be superior."

Then I'd like to see that. The other example of the functional someone gave more above, was not convincing to me. Much more complicated then the straight-forward simple, but evil cycle approach.