I think the GP understood this, but their point was that it is a false assumption that introducing the uncertainty principle in a classical simulation would simplify the computation.

That is, if we think that the universe is a simulation running on a classical computer, then quantum effects such as the uncertainty principle CAN'T be a "shortcut" to make the simulation easier - as in fact they make the simulation literally exponentially harder. If we assume that the universe is a simulation running on a quantum computer, then quantum effects are fundamental anyway.

Of course, everyone understands that this is a simple joke. Still, it's interesting that it goes completely against our intuitions as computer simulation designers.