I have met people who are queer and don't like being refered to with "they/them" because they view these words as totalizing. A lot of trans people have a lot of disliking for cis gay men and call their own poor practices"homonormativity". As a result, they balk at being included as "queer" or even at the existence of terms like "LGBT" as they don't feel solidarity with CIS gay or bisexual men. Many of these queers embrace and demand recognition of their unique pronouns. If they prefer xe/xem, you may get an earful for saying "they/them".